Lately things haven’t been going exactly to plan. Well, it’s not that I really have a plan, so they can’t really not be going to plan, but I had ideas of how life would look by the time I turned 21. For the most part, I think life’s pretty much on track. Good boyfriend, check, place to live and call home, check, hobbies, check, full time job in a field I studied for, check. Yep, pretty much on the right path.
But this is the thing I’ve learnt about life so far, it never really feels the way you think it’s going to, and it always looks different when you live it.
By now, I thought I would have sold my horse. I mentally prepared myself for that…and it does drive me mental I haven’t while everyone else is busy selling theirs. Jealousy never has looked good on me. I thought I would have a list a mile long of places I wanted to travel to. I have a list of about five places, all of which cost too much. I have also learnt, stress never stops, but money always has a way of doing so. Whether it be the money that is stopping, or the fact the lack of money to start with is what is stopping you in the first place, it’s hard to say. I could just stop acquiring horses…that might also help the money thing.
But this is life and it’s about time I made friends with the pretty awesome one I have (this part is not sarcastic).
While I’m feeling guilty about being stuck in a rut of my fantastic life, I tend to want to stop being an adult all together.
It does have its perks though. I don’t have to cook. There is this amazing thing called a blender and you just put yum things in it and taadaaaaa, dinner. Parking fines can be paid a month after they’re due before you get into trouble. But don’t do that in the work car, then you get in trouble well before that. On payday, you feel like the richest person on earth. Until you pay rent, and for the hobbies, and the food, and the power…
Life is pretty good as an adult, apart from the decision making process.
Sometimes, in the middle of stores where I have to make large purchases, I feel like the sales people are plotting my doom with all their questions. Really, they’re just doing a good job and I probably am responsible for several peoples commissions. Don’t even get me started on those self check out things at the supermarkets. They were built to destroy my soul.
Sometimes, I just can’t human properly.
I also make up words still, I’m not sure if that’s ok as an adult?
There is nothing particularly bad about being an adult. It’s just this kind of overwhelming feeling that this, is your life, and no matter how good or bad it is, you have to live with it. That scares me.
That scares me a lot.