Today, and yesterday, were the kind of days where I have to remind myself to breathe. One, because I need oxygen, two, because I need to relax. Along with a splitting headache and aching stomach, the clear indicator for stress was standing in the kitchen writing stories in my head.
Stop it brain. Time to shut off.
But I’ve done enough complaining lately. I actually enjoy working 8.30am to 7pm some days, in a weird way it means I can consume myself in work enough I can forget about all the other things I should be doing.
Like making friends. Doing sport. Keeping fit. That sort of stuff.
I realised though, these last few days, just how lucky I am. Today I have been trying really hard to be positive, so here is a list of things I am grateful for:
1) The guy who flashed his lights to warn me of a speed camera so I didn’t end up with another ticket.
2) The fact it stopped raining when I went to feed my horse.
3) Fantastic people I have met during my interviews lately, these are amazing reminders of why I love my job.
4) Friends who bring me food. Like, there are no words for people like this. I love them more than I can explain. There is simply nothing better than a friend who offers to bring you food when you’ve had a really shitty day and forgot there was this thing called eating which you need to do.
5) Good music, the amount I have found lately has kept me afloat.
6) People to dream with. Even if it is something simple and far off, just having someone to discuss the future and the excitement of it makes me smile.
7) Having a work car… because I am rather poor.
8) Managing to not crash it even though with this awful weather lately there have been several very close calls.
9) Having a horse, because sometimes, you just need horse cuddles to make the world seem like a nice happy place.
10) A bed, a roof, a warm house, food, and a job. I don’t think I ever stop and appreciate these things enough. I am so lucky to live in a house, let alone the incredible house I live in, with good people, in a safe country.
So I have a life plan. I have a headache. I didn’t get a speeding ticket. I have managed to actually achieve nearly everything I need to by 10am tomorrow. I have fantastic friends. And my hottie bottle and cup of tea are perhaps some of the more reassuring things after a long day.
Anyway, what I actually came on here to say was that I have become a far more vulnerable person. While that was very scary at first, it feels good to rely a little more on others and a little less on myself. Bad days are still unpleasant, but when you’re not shouldering the whole world, you feel much more equipped to cope.
People rock. Good people, are really quite incredible.
So folks, remember to ask for help when you can’t do it on your own anymore, and remember when to say no when you can’t take it anymore.
But don’t forget to say yes and to lend a hand when you can, because everyone has their turn at feeling like their my paddock in the rain with a horse running up and down it.