One of the benefits of being a journalist, I work well under pressure. There is this line between stressful, and then just to the point most people would declare insanity. Somewhere between the two is where I function best. My motto in times like these: ‘Well, I’ll just have to be organised’. When I say organised, I mean my life planned out at nearly two months in advance currently, with some things having been planned three months in advance. But there are always varriables, and I really don’t like varriables.
Since I have already declared insainty aproximately 15 or so years ago, I feel I have learnt how to embrace it, which is possibly how I managed to sleep last night.
Let me explain.
I have 6 weeks to foal a horse, continue trying to sell a horse, move house – this means actually finding one to move into, magicing up the money to then move into it, finding a house that fits all my stuff in it, and then organise at least three strong men to help me shift and cars to tow the trailers. And work two jobs.
Well I don’t have to, I just like to punish myself even further for actually coping so far.
The reason for two jobs, is because I haven’t sold the horse and I have to foal the other horse. That’s all cool and stuff. I just wish my body would just suck it up and stop trying to get sick. I do not need a day off, I need to organise.
My to do lists, I think, may take over my life and consume me in my sleep. People often say ‘welcome to the real world’ I think my ‘real world’ has been taking steroids.
I turn 21 at the start of November, currently I avoid looking at that month on my calendar, I’m afraid all the things happening will leap out and suffocate me.
You ever get that feeling where the world is actually suffocating you? Yep, I have been repeating ‘breathe, deep deep breathing. It will all be ok’ to myself over and over today.
I have discovered we have this pink bag in the office, when you put envelopes in it, they get magically posted. I love this part of being in an office.
So there you have it. My life is actually insane. I am going insane. I also have to take another blood test for my thyroid. It’s not going to be good if my breathing doesn’t keep up!
I think I might need to go for a run tonight…
Cheerio!
The irony kid 