I went out last night. A sophisticated pizza and beer then a couple of cocktails at a bar with great company kind of night. Being a Wednesday and the fact I simply do not bounce back like I used to (I more fall and just sort of stay there now), I chose to sober drive myself home afterwards. This mean one and a half drinks over the course of 3 and 1/2 hours with pizza (that I shouldn’t have eaten).
The sad part of it all, with all my responsibility; getting 7 hours sleep, staying sober, driving home… I still feel like someone hit the slow motion button today. I do blame the sore neck from last weeks car crash, for my headache and it is possible that my lack of sleep from just not being able to sleep over the last week, could be why I want to be a small child and carry around a blankey and just nap. Never the less I deem it unfair.
So armed with ‘revive’ tea, green tea, and ‘boost’ (like berocca) I feel a slight pick up in my average speed. From incredibly painfully slow to just sort of getting there kind of slow. I have a lot to get done today so I need to eventually up it to fast forward. But there doesn’t look like there is much hope for me at all. Friday might be my day?
For the first time in a long time, I feel revived (despite my not so bubbly appearance today).
I have spoken to several people lately who feel worn out, and like they want to give up. I wanted to shout “I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE IN THIS WORLD THAT WANTS TO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK AND HIDE THERE AT TIMES WHEN I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!” at the top of my lungs when I heard them say that. It’s actually a normal human behaviour to feel like you’ve had enough.
This made me feel excited.
Not because I’ve had enough of life right now, but because I was there, right where they are now, last year. And now I’m here. And it’s not the end, or the peak, or ‘the moment’. I’m happy, complete, satisfied. I don’t feel like you can ask for much more than that?