Never be afraid of a trash can

I have had some interesting advice of late when it comes to my reporting.

“Never be afraid of a rubbish bin”

“The follow up is often better than breaking the story”

“Never be afraid to ask the dumb question, sometimes you get the best quotes”

“This industry is hard, but if you’re competitive and don’t give up, you can do it.”

The first is by far my favorite.

Each year there is this thing that the local polytechnic puts on called a ‘Press Club’ where industry professionals come down to mix and mingle over a lunch with the journalism students, and there is a guest speaker.

Now that I am one of those industry professionals and no longer a student, my fear of chatting to people who are considered ‘someone’ have gone out the window. Of course that is because I no longer desperately need them to notice me to one day get a job, and two because I’ve realised they are normal human beings.

The first piece of advice was from a well-respected investigative reporter for the country’s leading paper. It is perhaps to date one of the strangest conversations I have ever had with a journalist. He also told me that reporters get too precious about things like rummaging around a trash can to find the story. He then told me of a time that a person had left the buildings but “the skip was still there” and he found the piece of evidence needed to produce a very epic story.

While I have no desire to go hunting through the Mayors trash can anytime soon… and I have come to a realisation that I am probably too polite to be an investigative reporter, this piece of advice can be applied to many things.

Don’t get too precious, don’t be afraid to do the things others wont.

Get your hands dirty, get in, do it, and you will be surprised what you find.

Never be afraid of a trash can is now one of my life mottos.

Do not be afraid of the things that look awful. Get over it. And stop thinking about it.

Of course, when telling my mother this, she told me to wear gloved due to the awful diseases in trash cans… fair point. I may carry around latex gloves in my purse if an occasion as such ever does arise.

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Seeing my ex was the best thing for my relationship

Ok past, I’ve got a bone to pick with you on this one. How much forgiving, moving on, running away, escaping, closing my eyes, etc do I need to do to get rid of you? I mean, okay there all these sayings like “things don’t leave until they’ve taught you all you need to learn” and then the one above. I get it. I’m meant to keep taking things from it. But there is a line and I think we’ve reached it.

I was tossing up whether or not to write about this on here… I do have SOME personal sharing boundaries… but then I saw this picture and though, why the hell not? So now, here is my little spiel.

Seeing my ex was one of the best things I could have done for my current relationship. Yeah, I am fully aware I am going back on 95% of what I have been harping on about lately, but I do change my mind on my opinions regularly. When a mutual friend got us back in touch I had mixed feelings. I am well aware most people will read this and ask why I was bothering talking to an ex at all, and assume my current partner had an issue with it (he doesn’t). But just hold your fire. Our strange and roller-coaster off a cliff sort of relationship was one that not even I understand. I mean, when he whipped out quotes like “cheating isn’t that bad” last night I couldn’t help but stare at him, and my 17-year-old self in disbelief… Uhmm… what exactly is more destructive in a relationship? I mean, yes there is abuse, but cheating really is a form of emotional abuse. So, I reiterate, he hasn’t changed. 

This is a very satisfying fact to realize, anyone who argues the contrary quite seriously must have either been blind and deaf or did not know him during the time I did. No longer smoking dope is sort of ruled out by doing other drugs? And yes, cheating is really THAT bad. That is all beside my point though. I knew all of that well before I saw him again.

What it did teach me though, as a) I have possibly the most incredible boyfriend in the world and b) no wonder I don’t put up with crap from people any more. I dealt with a life times amount and I am now allergic. Or just a little more clued up. So, if someone tells me they are going to see their ex, I would encourage it. If there is still a spark there… well I have no help on that one, don’t really have that problem. BUT it does teach you an incredible amount about your past self, and your current self. The contrast was for me, in fact staggering. Growing up doesn’t even begin to explain it. It made me realise how smart I was to leave when I did and form this incredible, exciting, and fantastic life with people in it that build me up, not take away from who I am. It is healing too, to no longer resent someone for what they’ve done to you, but rather have no respect for them because of who they still are. To be able to move on, even if the past does keep following you around, sometimes you have to make a decision to keep it behind you, move on, and keep walking. Just because your past comes back, doesn’t mean you have to let it in. The lesson: I am a stronger, better, whole, fulfilled person and I am incredibly glad for the people I have in my life now, and I know exactly why I chose them. You choose the people who come into your life, make sure you make the right decision. 

The life lesson list

Being 20 is certainly a colourful time of my life. I thought it was due time I shared another ‘what I’ve learnt list’, because as life changes so do the things I get from it! So here you are, enjoy.

1) The back of a police car is one of the best ways to see the city.

2) Always let people in while waiting in traffic, you never know who’s day you just made.

3) Have at least one friend that you can sit in your car, in an empty car park, and talk for hours and not run out of content.

4) Learn to let things go: you control how you feel, not other people.

5) Do things simply because you want to help, do not expect something in return every time.

6) Actively discover something new about someone you love at least once a month.

7) Learn how to take advice, not everyone is running you down, sometimes the thing you don’t want to hear, is exactly what you need to listen to.

8) ‘Just do it’ learn when to think things through, and when to just go for it.

9) Need people. It might hurt sometimes, but it will make you a much stronger person.

10) Do not be afraid to dream big: do not let fear hold you back, decide you want to achieve something and make a plan – do not stop until you get there.

11) Study something and finish it. If you fail the first time, try again until you succeed. 

12) Find a hobby you cannot give up and throw yourself into it whole heartedly.

13) Remember to keep life balanced, your sanity will appreciate it in the long run.

14) Love your job. No matter what it is, do not just work to earn money, work to make your life better, someone else’s life better, and the world better.

 

 

Petrol pump guy and small change.

Exhaustion. I’d like to blame it on study, and that is partly it. It is possibly also a lack of sleep and the fact I thought it would be a good idea to start running. While I am still clinging to the hope that some day in the future I will look back and thank my past self for starting this exciting adventure that is running, the current me hates myself for it. 

My legs ache, my back ache, my ankles ache due to bad shoes. My everything is exhausted. I have always hated running and now I know why. Don’t get me wrong, I love the freedom of going fast, clearing my head, listening to some good music, enjoying nature – all for about 10 mins of the run. I push myself. I’m just like that. But it will pay off eventually. I hope.

In between my sore body and my feeling like there simply is no possible way to ever escape the constant pile of small tasks to do for tech, I feel good. Today I was ready to break down and either kill or cry at the petrol pump. Why this particular petrol station thought it would be a good idea to install pumps that are unable to reach over a small car is beyond me. I paid – because it’s prepay – then realized it wasn’t going to work and hung the pump back up. Then of course it no longer worked. I went back into the petrol station and the lovely petrol guy fixed it. Or so I thought. Merrily (though in a fowl mood) I let it run. It didn’t stop at the amount it should have. Now seriously about to cry (the reason has nothing to do with the pump… but it’s a story that’s perhaps not for here) I dragged my feet back inside to pay the balance. The lovely petrol pump guy waved it and said “don’t worry about it.” I wanted to hug him in that moment. If he didn’t work there I’d buy him a coffee. 

It’s the small things that make your day. I have good friends, a good boyfriend, a good hobby and I have met some wonderful stranger. Life’s not all bad. Just a bit stressful.

500kg’s of life lesson

There are numerous things that put people off when you begin a conversation. One of them I have discovered over the years is horses. But this, I just have to share. Horse humor is certainly one of my favorite things. As someone who quite often finds herself flying through the air at a great rate and landing on the ground with either a thud or a groan, it is a good way to ease the bruised ego.

The thing though I have learnt is horse riding applies to almost everything. After riding for 11 years you sort of learn how to apply it to everything.

You have reins, anyone who has ridden a horse before knows (or should) what these are. You hold them in your hands – they are your handle bars. When you pull the horse should stop, when you turn them, the horse should turn and when you let them go (slightly) the horse should relax… and most of the time moves forward. It gets more complex but thats the general idea.

When jumping a horse you learn many things. How to fly. How to land from a great height, how to treat sand burn, what surfaces are the best to fall from a great height onto, poles are hard, the horses head is really hard and nothing will go as you expect.

The more you pull on the reins and ‘hold’ the horse and try to control it, the more it pulls away. When I say pull I mean pull like someone ripping your arms out. Things start to go backwards and sometimes, quite literally. Pretty much the more you try to hold on and wait, wait, wait for the right moment, the more likely you are to by jumping that jump on your own… or not at all. 

You can’t always be going faster then slower and gripping. You have to let go, relax and hold steady. Find your rhythm and just let it happen. No over thinking. No worrying. You have to simply rely on what you have learnt and trust if you don’t know, you’re about to learn quickly. You have to trust that that 500kg animal below you will in fact take off and clear the jump with you securely in the saddle and land again on it’s feet.

That is something you have to do. It takes courage to point a horse at a jump, no matter how big. It takes courage just to get on the damn thing!

Life is exactly like that. The tighter you grip and the more you slow things down so you can get it just right, the more likely you are to miss it all together – to stuff it up and physic yourself out. Alternatively, if you go flying a million miles ahead all the time you’re going to crash and it will be spectacular and you wont be the one laughing.

You have to trust that the big monster life is, is going to take you somewhere. Somewhere grand and that it will make it over the obstacles and around the bends. That sometimes you will have to pick up the pace and sometimes you will have to steadily keep on going. You’re also going to need to learn when to stop.

At the end of the day life takes courage. You have to get on to start with and when you fall, you’ve got to just pick yourself back up and keep going. There is no gripping of reins and fighting for control. That can’t be an option if it’s going to be a successful event. 

It’s just got to happen. And it all comes down to trusting that it will. 

Saddle up, get on and keep your heals down.