I was pissed off today. But I have learnt anger is my first response, it’s rarely how I actually feel. I’m going a bit soppy tonight. I thought I better write something on here, so here we go. It’s been tough getting through this year, I’m not going to lie. I think we’ve all had our struggles. Lately the attitudes and insanely unbelievable immaturity of people around me has been astonishing. Mind-blowing. But that just makes me shake my head and count down the days until I’m out of here. Where to I have no clue, no freaking clue. It is easy to doubt yourself when you’re struggling to find support. It’s easy to doubt yourself when you’re having a hard time. I realized today how important friends are. I’m going to talk about my horse again but hear me out because it really does shed a bit of light on everyday life.
I’ve been having a hard time trying not to die every time I ride. I never get off when it gets tough but lately I’ve quite seriously weighed up my options – the firmness and impact of the ground verse galloping away into the middle of nowhere on the back of madame crazy. Neither sound great. So I found her a friend. A broken, retired (3-year-old) racehorse who my 9-year-old retired show jumper took under her wing. They love each other, like two peas in a pod. Both a little broken, both with nothing to do and both suddenly without the only job they know. In limbo. Just like that they became best friends.
I have my horse back, she is now sweet, a little nutty and willing to do anything for me. We’re partners in crime rather than sparing partners. All it took was something to make her feel like she was wanted, a purpose, someone who understands. Maybe I am giving a horse far too many human emotions, but that it what it seems like.
It got me thinking, people are exactly like that. We want someone to understand us, cherish us, need us. We need to be needed. We need to have a place, a purpose. We want to be understood. A friend makes everything better. So while I’m pissed at the people who don’t pick me up, who offer no explanation for their absurd behaviour, I am glad for the friends I do have. The few but the important ones that have my back.
That’s what matters, the important people and the good places we’re going to one day explore.